Duct Tape or a Nail

A man dies and goes to heaven. Of course, St. Peter meets him at the Pearly Gates.

St. Peter says, "Here's how it works. You need 100 points to make it into heaven. You tell me all the good things you've done, and I give you a certain number of points for each item, depending on how good it was. when you reach 100 points, you get in."

"Okay," the man says, "I was married to the same woman for 50 years and never cheated on her, even in my heart."

"That's wonderful," says St.Peter, "that's worth three points!"
"Three points?" he says.

"Well, I attended church all my life and supported its ministry with my tithe and service."

"Terrific!" says St.Peter. "That's certainly worth a point."
"One point!?!!"

"I started a soup kitchen in my city and worked in a shelter for homeless veterans."

"Fantastic, that's good for two more points," he says.
"Two points!?!!

"Exasperated, the man cries. "At this rate the only way I'll get into heaven is by the grace of God."
"Bingo, 100 points! Come on in!"

We often try to fix problems with WD-40 and duct tape. God did it with a
nail.

(Thanks to Corey Johnson for this and his daily devotional. To sign uip - just email Corey at yeroc @ usadatanet.net (but take out the spaces in the email address).

This is a true story, from the Orange County Sheriff's office.

An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her voice, "I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car!" The four men didn't wait for a second invitation. They got out and ran like mad.

The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver's seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried.

And then it dawned on her why. A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down.

She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station. The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn't stop laughing. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun.

No charges were filed.

If you're going to have a Senior Moment, make it a memorable one! (Thanks to Ginnie Young for this one.)

Greg Vance died on Saturday morning. He was 42, fit and healthy. The Lord took him in an instant. He just stopped living. He was a good friend.

Greg worked for me in the software business for a year or two, and left to move on to a more promising opportunity. A nominal church-goer, I remember how he ended his exit interview: "Working for you has shown me what it is to see real Christian values in action". I was obvious deeply complimented - and surprised.

He and I kept in touch over the subsequent couple of years, occaisonally meeting for lunch. He and his wife started going to church, got themselves saved, and were seeing God do great things in their marriage and family. Linda and I looked after their kids for a weekend so they could go to a Christian Leadership conference together. I rejoiced at Greg's salvation - of course - and his growth in Christ

My point here is not to stroke my ego - but this: That every word, every action has a consequence. Eternal consequences. Today my little world was jarred by news of his death, and God's kingdom work moves on another day.

Lord Jesus, give me a deeper repentance, a horror of sin, a dread of its approach. Help me chastely to flee it and jealously to resolve that my heart shall be Yours alone. Give me a deeper trust, that I may lose myself to find myself in You, the ground of my rest, the spring of my being. Give me a deeper knowledge of Yourself as saviour, master, lord, and king. Give me deeper power in private prayer, more sweetness in Your Word, more steadfast grip on its truth. Give me deeper holiness in speech, thought, action, and let me not seek moral virtue apart from You.

— Puritan Prayer