My father gave me advice that his father had first passed to him: "Never be a Methodist minister". It was delivered as an amusing comment, but with a definite edge of seriousness. When i was 38 I told my Dad that I had a calling into ministry. His concern was immediate "But you're at the top of your career!" and "Wait until you retire so that you can give it your full attention. In the meanwhile focus on earning money to fund that retirement ministry idea". It was no use. A call to ministry is like falling down one of Alice in Wonderland's rabbit holes. Once it's happened, there's no escaping it, and you just keep falling deeper down into it. You also end up in a strange land that resembles the old world but it works differently.
I'm now 53 and post-secular-career. I live off my wife's hard work and supplement it with a patchwork of IT consulting, an apartment rental business that I'm not very good at, and hopefully soon, some paid chaplaincy. Yes, I am still in the world, but it just works very differently.
There are significantly long period where I don't see God working much at all. Then there are all-too-brief moments when I see His hand, feel His breath. And I humbly acknowledge that none of this makes much sense, but it all makes perfect sense.
"Never be a Methodist minister, son."
"But Dad, I already am. And it's OK."
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